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So the night is young, and i sit staring at my phone as it connects to the other line. ring. That's about all I ever get. So i pace back and forth in my room, hoping my phone will ring and I will hear that voice I long to hear on the other end. But all I get if sign in and sign off tones on AIM. Waste of another day to go out and do something productive. But NO. I sit pondering whether or not to add 5 more missed calls on their phone. Scroll through the phone book and see who could be my distraction for the night. come across an old buddy, lets text them. "Hey, what are you up to?" and I get, "NM, U?" is that all we ever can say, proper grammar is not even in our vocabulary, sorry for going off on that tangent. I'm thinking, should we hang out or not? But everyone knows that anything after 12am is a booty call. RIGHT? So I check my phone to see if I've received anything in the last 30 minutes. still blank as a brand new page in a journal. So i give it one more try, why bother right? two rings, i hang up. Few minutes later, my phone rings. I jump out and grab to check who it is, well what do you know, if it isn't the devil themselves. "Hey, how you been? I miss you, when are you coming back home?" i get, "I think I'm going to be here for awhile." screw that, should i go days, weeks, even months long, waiting for that person to come back. what if they never do? should i still let life pass me by for one person. now i sit wondering what the hell should i do? should i? should i not? FUCVK. honestly, i am truly tired of playing second best. i would be willing to put in effort if it was worth the suffering. im just totally over the stupid phone. i wish i was like kevin, hehe. no phone. no disruptions. free alone time. so OPEN. Well screw this. i had to put this in writing, i couldn't sleep. i need to vent. ring. ring. ring. you have reached...... please leave your message after the tone..................DONE.